An Idiotic Mistake
by SilverMarten
Summary: This oneshot explores what happens when Ninetails reminisces on his failed attempt to control the Moon god. The lesson he and his fellow demons learn is that that is a stupid idea. Completely silly and AU. I may work on a more serious story that uses this premise.


**First thing to note is that not only is this the first story I have posted here, it is one that I'm not exactly sure if it is a good idea to post. We shall see if this is a good idea. It is only a oneshot. I've only written this out of boredom and I found it _somewhat _good enough to post online.  
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**Second thing is that this is very silly and AU. It is not something to be taken seriously. Also, italics are flashbacks.  
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**Last thing is that this is heavily influenced by a Robot Chicken sketch so I will give credit to the makers of that show.  
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**Okami and related material belongs to Capcom.  
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**Okami: An Idiotic Mistake  
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As the day shift changes on the island, numerous imps and other foul creatures return to their posts while others return to their dwellings. A lone coffee maker sits in the main cafeteria. Let us ignore the fact that they would have coffee makers and cafeterias. Right now, what matters is the fact that this coffee maker is empty. It had not been refilled for some time and Ninetails did not like it at all.

The kitsune could not believe it. It was bad enough that it was Monday morning but this could only compound on the troubles to come. The coffee pot was empty and it seemed like it had been since sunrise. Opening the lid of the machine, Ninetails groaned underneath his mask.

"Looks like I'm the only person who knows how to change a coffee filter." He glanced at the other demons present. They all had coffee. Good coffee. The gods must be mocking him for his lack of foresight. "Thanks, guys!"

Preparing to change the filter that the dimwitted imps could not be bothered to do, someone called out his name. Ninetails recognized that the voice belonged to the last person he wanted to see: Yami. He did not look like a fish in a bowl this time, however. He looked human…sort of. He had long black hair that covered a twisted and diabolical face. Blue markings adorned his sickly pale body which was clothed by a black kimono. He held a coffee cup in one metal hand and waved his other hand at the kitsune. The Emperor's grim appearance did not exactly reflect his personality.

"How's that apprentice thing coming along? What's his name? Sunny Yeti? Sticky Mommy? Suckit Yanni?"

Ninetails knew before his master could even guess. He uttered the name, "Tsukiyomi?"

_The image of his new servant reached the kitsune's mind. A wolf stood before him. Its fur was the purest black, blending in with the shadows that danced upon the chamber walls. Blue markings shaped into swirls and spirals on the shoulders extending along the sides adorned its body. The most elaborate of them was on the wolf's face, giving it an almost primal look. A crescent-shaped instrument hovered above its back, waiting to be used. _

_This was not some throwaway minion who would end up as Ninetails' snack for incompetence in the simplest of tasks. Like ordering the wrong pizza and then failing to notice that pizza hadn't even been invented yet. _

_No, the being before him was a fearsome creature worthy of both fear and awe. _

_This was a god. _

Returning his thoughts to the present, Ninetails had to find a way to end the conversation. His master must not know what had happened to his "pet project". Quickly changing the accursed coffee filter, he replied, "Tsukiyomi's great! Uh, quick learner."

_He was a quick learner. There had been plenty of occasions when Tsukiyomi had proven his worth. The moon god had not failed any of the trials that Ninetails had given him. The wolf was growing more powerful every day. He had already gained half of his sister's brush techniques and several of his own. Ninetails could remember the day when his servant's power had its greatest impression. _

_It happened in Agata Ruins in the middle of the night. Though the full moon was blocked by thick stone and earth, Tsukiyomi could feel it. It was his symbol of power. It may not be as brilliant and powerful as the sun; the Moon was a celestial body that had its own light. This is how he could see in the total darkness of the ruins. _

_In spite of this, the caverns suddenly began to collapse all around him as large pieces of earth and stone threatened to crush him. He avoided anything that came down on him. He encountered a pair of imps that were blocking his path. Showing no regard for the fact that they were on his side, the moon god called upon a pair of blue and black rosaries, the ends of which materialized in his jaws. He whipped them at the two demons, neither of which stood a chance against the might of the Dark Instruments. _

Yami flailed his prosthetic arms in the air, poorly imitating karate moves. "He sounds like a machine! Two rosaries at the same time?!" Ninetails knew that trouble was coming and upon finishing his coffee, he started to tiptoe out of the room. Yami continued, "Good thing he's on our team, eh?"

_An imp fell to the ground lifeless. Several of its companions nervously approached its killer and they quickly met the same fate when they were slashed in half by a stream of rosary beads. An enraged wolf god stood by, waiting for more to come his way. All sorts of dark creatures that saw him knew that he had turned against them. _

_They tried to attack the black wolf, but Tsukiyomi always evaded them and wailed at them with his instrument with deadly force. They were frightened of him, more so than before now that he had made them his enemies. A large group of imps who did not know of the Conservation of Ninjutsu surrounded the moon god. Tsukiyomi lowered his weapon, and then unleashed a mighty howl. _

_A powerful shockwave that came from it disintegrated any demon within a few paces of him. Everyone else was knocked off their feet. Hard. _

Ninetails knew what the wolf god was capable of and he knew why he had turned on him. He hoped that he would never have to tell his master about it. That did not work out when a black imp ran into him as he tried to walk out.

"My Lord, Tsukiyomi has broken into-AAAHH!"

The fox wrapped the imp with one of his tails, hoping to shut him up. It did but it was also choking him to death. Ninetails did not care, though. He added, "-to our hearts! Yes, here at the darkness…"

Yami was not impressed. He stood there tapping his foot and looked at his subordinate like a naughty child. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

_Ninetails could recall being thrown through several walls inside a shrine. He was thrown across several rooms before finally stopping inside a narrow corridor. The demon lord looked up and saw his opponent through the holes in the walls he made. At the other side was Tsukiyomi staring back with a boiling rage. The wolf god gripped his rosaries in his jaws. He was prepared to fight him. Ninetails knew that he had to "take care of" what was once his ally and apprentice. He did not like it, but he had to do it. The kitsune pulled out his sword, Ninestrike, and waited for the wolf's first move._

"Uhh…" Ninetails could not figure how to worm his way out of this one. He did not want to tell him about his mistake for fear of horrible punishment.

"Look at me!" Yami ordered.

The fox sighed. "I kidnapped his sister and now he wants to destroy evil, okay?"

There was silence. The fox waited for the unpleasant response as Yami gazed at him. The imp was still choking from the kistune's tail, wondering how he has not died yet.

Finally, Yami said with a smile on his twisted face, "Now don't you feel better?"

He had no words to answer that. No words. Ninetails was shocked and then relieved as he let go of the imp which then fell to the ground face first with a thud. This was going to be a long day.

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**Yeah... Not exactly polished (or original for that matter) but it is my first try at this particular fandom. I am considering writing a longer and more serious story that uses this premise. No guarantees, since I'm already working on an Okami story. **

**If you have any comments, they would be appreciated.  
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